Embarrestment

I was reading some blogs yesterday and something Katie said on her blog really hit home. She said she had a house guest but needed them to give her an hour in the evenings so she could workout but she felt anxiety over it (sorta making a big deal out of a situation).

It really struck a cord with me cause I feel I do this too. I didn't in the past and I wonder if its me trying to go unnoticed in my bigger body.

A huge example of this was just a few weeks ago when I started my new shift at work. We work on computers all the time and have many different programs with many different passwords. I had forgotten a password for one and it wouldn't let me change it for some reason. Everyone else was logged in a working but its really not a big deal if your not. My face was about as red as a tomato having to ask someone to help me.

I wasn't like this before and its a characteristic that I hate about myself now. Why be embarrassed of something like this? Nobody was even looking at me. I don't really understand why I'm like this at times but I'm looking to change it. Hopefully as I lose a bit more weight it won't be an issue anymore.

Big Fat Lies & Irritations

I got weighed in Today-technically yesterday by the time but who's keeping track? I stayed the same. I can honestly say that. Still 220.6 on the nose.

Its so strange but in the past I have lied about how I did. Not on my blog but to Cole, family and friends. I would weigh in and lose .6 and I'd say I lost 1 pd. I'd gain .6 and I'd say I stayed the same. Either they are all bad with math or they are on to my game.

I can't really explain why I did this but I'm trying to change it. Even now my first instinct is to bump up the number but I nip it in the bud.

I've lied to myself plenty in the past before too. The diet starts Monday, just one cookie, etc and its gotten me nowhere quick.

I'm a person that hardly ever gets irritated but the smallest thing has irritated me for a bit and it was finally resolved today. I'm a bit embarrassed that I even cared but I did. See if it would bother you too - Here's the story :

I have been with Weight Watchers on and off for about a year and I re-membered yet again in August. So they still went by my starting weight. Somewhere along the way someone made a mistake with the starting number 245.6 and put down 245. So every time I would weigh in I would be short this .6 of a pd.

At first, like any normal human being, it didn't bother me. Then I hit my 15pd goal and they registered it as 14.4. And then I hit 20 pds and they registered it as 19.4 and I said something, and they adjusted it wrong to show 19.8-uhhh.

I bit my tongue until I hit 25pds and she registered it at 24.8-I said 245.6-220.6 is 25pds and she said oh well you can still get the award at the meeting I won't tell anyone-like I was getting away with something-but I wasn't I did this. I earned this. I bit my tongue-accepted my award and went home.

Before my meeting yesterday I brought it up, I am relentless, and one of the workers got out a calculator and went over each of my ups and downs to figure out the mistake. I don't care when the mistake was made, who made it, I just want ppl to acknowledge that 245.6-220.6=25pds.

She finally said okay I will go by your weight and we'll figure out the problem later. Don't get me wrong I love all the workers and they were more than nice and I am never rude about it but hello people-whats a girl got to do to get some scale love?

Am I completely alone? Would anyone else even have bothered with something so trivial? Do I get the crickets?