Working out~

This week has been a good one for me. I've pretty much been watching my points and getting in some exercise.


Today I walked for 45 minutes and did a few exercises on my exercise ball that I found in my new Woman's Health magazine. Imagine having a body like that-wow-crazy. Do you ever wonder if women with super hot bodies realize it?

Kelly is in the process of getting everything prepared for her trip to Poland. We are going to help with the fundraising and I'm so excited for her-I pray everything works out for her and that she is able to walk again-that would be a miracle.

On another front remember a couple of weeks ago I brought up an issue of not getting things flowing through the system? Not being able to go so to speak. Well I am happy to say it is no longer a problem. I have 1/2 cup of fiber + bran flakes and 1/2 cup of fiber plus (both president's choice) and all systems are a go. It is really amazing how great I feel now.

I have loved summer to the fullest but I must say I'm sorta ready for it to be over. Not that I want winter but I do love fall and especially walking in the fall. Walking in the heat just about kills me.

Awesomeness~

This week has went by fast and its been a great one. A few weeks ago I wrote a post here that talked about how I am now viewing my dieting, exercise, etc as a lifetime change and honestly I've felt great ever since.

I don't know but it has all felt like something clicked. I feel happy in my own skin for the first time in such a long time. I find myself making more time for exercising and its just something natural now. I did great with my eating, even on the weekend, which has always posed problems for me. I guess I'm just proud. No matter what the scale says tomorrow morning I know I did myself proud.

This week two great things happened. I fit back into a pair of my dress pants that I haven't worn in years. In fact I remember the last time I wore them they were clinging so much to my thighs they looked too short-a really comfortable feeling I might add. Anyways now they are just right and even baggy in the legs.

And the other thing is that I can now fit into some of Cole's clothes. Here is a pic of me today before my walk wearing Cole's grey hoodie from American Eagle. I am truly excited and the smile is also because it is raining here and I'm a freak-I LOVE RAIN.Here is a pic of my current dream wedding dress-it changes often-hahaAlso I thought I would post a couple of hair styles I like so far - Which do you like the best?

A)B) C)In my last post I talked about wanting to set a big short term goal for myself and after putting much thought into it I decided to try to be under 200 by the end of June. This is a huge goal for me since it generally takes me a while to lose weight but I won't get discouraged if I don't so it can only help. Set any goals lately?

Growing.

Today I woke up had a healthy breakfast, went to work and stewed about my weight the whole day. I ate my carrots, my multi grain ww bread, my fruit, drank my water, did all the right things.

After spending the entire day going over and over in my mind about my weight and how I have gained again I went to the store and bought these guys:

Chocolate Caramel Bunnies. Chocolate is my absolute favorite. I planned on eating them and then maybe to have some chips, then some brownies. I planned on skipping my workout and just wallowing in my failure.

Before I did these things I thought I would go on the computer to have a look see. This is what I found on the computer desk :

A little note from my fiance Cole. He is so amazing and may be a mind reader, haha. He fell in love with me at my biggest weight and he is truly my biggest cheerleader. He believes in C more than anyone.

I threw on my dirty pants, my sneaks and went for an hour long walk, listening to the new playlist he made for my ipod. Every woman should have a Cole-but you can't have mine. Have you any idea how hot he is?

Super Yummy Hot!

The future is mine to make~

After working overtime Friday night-Saturday morning I spent the rest of the weekend catching up on some sleep. Today Cole & I went for a walk even though the sidewalks were slippery.

Just wanted to post a quick post to say that tomorrow I am starting my super motivated plan. I plan to make a huge effort to exercise every day in one form or another. The kind of exercise that breaks a sweat. The kind that lets you know you are doing something. I will post about the exercise. This is the year that I lose my weight and keep it off.

I can't keep making excuses and slacking off. My wedding is in 13 months. Its now or never people. I plan on buying my wedding dress in November - that gives me 9 months to lose the majority of my weight. I can do this, nobody can do it for me.

I WILL SUCCEED~

Approaching week & resentment.

Well its Sunday again. Another week is fast approaching. Where do the weekends go? Sundays are bittersweet-Cole has to sleep and that sucks but I do enjoy scrap booking so that is fun. I make sure to have all the chores done so I can just relax.

Speaking of chores I did the biggest one this morning. I cleaned out my fridge. This was no simple task as it should have been done ages ago but I figured it would be healthy to purge all the outdated crap-not to mention the room it would free up.

I should have taken pics cause we had stuff in there we would never in a million years eat-leftover McChicken sauce, etc, so gross-I cannot remember the last time I even ate MacDonald's probably over a year ago.

The fridge cleaning was awesome because it allowed me the room I needed for all the prep I'm doing for the healthy diet I'm doing this week. I got tons of fruits & veggies and even bagged up my own 100 calorie packs for it. I didn't go to my weigh in this week, partly due to my being sick the whole week, and partly cause I was nervous. I will be there this Thursday though-no doubts.

This week my almost mother in law started exercising in preparation for a trip down south. They went on one in March of last year too. To be quite honest I feel a twinge of resentment. Nothing about the trip but about the way they go about dieting.

They only need to lose a few pounds anyways but for a month or two they will absolutely talk about nothing other than this and its the foremost of every conversation. As a person who deals with weight, dieting, society, etc on a daily, monthly, yearly basis for over half my life I really hate this. It'll be you should try this or what should I do about this and my head almost wants to explode.

People who don't have serious weight issues just don't get it. I don't even know the way I'd like people to act around me but it really does rub me the wrong way how they obsess over it and the day they get back it won't be mentioned again.

I will leave you all now as I have to scrapbook-for my mental health if nothing more.

blurg.............

Hey Everyone-I'm still here. After my horrible weigh in on Thursday evening I spent Friday feeling sorry for myself and then when I woke up on Saturday I had this crappy head cold, which I still have by the way.

I binged all weekend long and didn't exercise. Its me-I'm a self sabotager. My name is Candace and I'm a self sabotager. Right at the very moment I have a ear ache and a toothache-in fact the whole right side of my head generally aches.

For the first time in my life I feel like I've lost my appetite. Maybe I ate so much on the weekend I reached my cap of calories, whatever it is I forced myself to eat lunch and am trying to stay awake to force myself to eat supper.

Sometimes I feel like the journey to lose over a hundred pounds for me takes so long that its the main reason why I can't do it. I wonder if I can keep myself on track during the hard times to make it to the goal?

Sometimes Change is Good

Just got home from another work night. I cannot tell you all how excited I am to get the day shift. I start in January. What sucks is the fact that Cole will still be working nights, we are hoping something opens up for him soon.

Working nights while trying to lose weight is unbelievably hard. The preparing of healthy meals & snacks, and having to make sure to get good rest when your body is technically supposed to be awake, its a hassle.

We'd of course still have to do these things when working days but it seems different, haha. So many people that we work with are overweight and many are obese. It doesn't help that they have vending machines that actually take debit and credit cards, I only wish I were joking. Neither Cole nor I have purchased anything from them in over two years and even then it was gum.

Well folks I did something I never thought in a million years I would do. I wore out a pair of sneakers, from actual exercise. I'm getting a pair in December, hopefully for Christmas but if not I'll get a pair for myself, I can't wait.


Something else that is pretty exciting. Well I got engaged in July and the night Cole proposed I could hardly fit my ring on, in my defense we had did lots of walking that day doing touristy things, haha. Well guess what? It hardly fits me now-as in-too big. Its flopping all over the place. I'm going to get a ring sizer thingy cause I of course still want to lose more. So exciting. Well off I go in my sneaks for another walk, Cole's going to help me do some ab exercises when I get back, oh what joy, haha.

My cat got fat.

Today was the first day I took off from exercising in 7 days. I know what you're thinking wow-why isn't she already small? Well the answer is simple-I only really got motivated a week ago. My weigh in is on Friday and I hope to have a good loss. I liken myself to a scared cat when it comes to my weight. It can go many ways. I have a good loss and feel so good about myself that I fall off the wagon, or I don't lose and get so frustrated I fall off the wagon. No seriously that has been my problem in the past, always looking for reasons to give up but now that my wedding on the horizon I can't fail again. Does anyone know where I can get a wedding dress with built in shorts in case my thighs are still rubbing together?