Debt & Solutions~

Today is a super lazy day for me. I'm feeling under the weather. Its my tom and it sucks. I just got out of a hot bath but it didn't really seem to improve much-only made me really hot and uncomfortable-boo.



A couple of weeks ago I posted a blog called facing my past- here . It pretty much detailed how for years I was running from the financial mistakes I made in the past. So anyways we are putting in a proposal to pay it off and since its $15000 we are going to pay it off in full. The payments are $250 a month but Cole & I are going to do 2 overtime shifts a month each and pay $400 instead to pay it off more quickly.



It really is amazing how getting this all out in the open has been. I haven't stressed about it in weeks and it feels wonderful. For years I have blown this out of proportion in my head and maybe its even why I gained the majority of my weight.



Cole is an absolutely amazing man. He has never once said a thing against me having this debt. Its just okay honey what do we have to do and how can I help? Everyone should be so lucky to have a partner who truly loves them and wants to make their live easier. I said I could do 4 overtimes a month but he said no-we will do two each. We have decided that for the next couple of months we may do overtime every week to save up extra before our November vacation. We are going to New Hampshire for my wedding dress and he wants to save for a nice camera for the wedding.



I am in the process of applying to sell food at our Farmer's Market on Saturday mornings. I have always loved to bake and have a plan that for what I'm going to sell. It isn't this easy process that I thought it would be though. I guess the Department of Health has to approve of the food, the process, the area of preparation, etc. My plan is to prepare the food here so it will be determined whether or not they allow that since its an apartment.



We are getting ready to fund raise for Kelly's operation. They are having a silent auction, Bake sale, and a dance. Cole is donating two paintings. This is one of them. It is on an 11x14 canvas.

Cole is an amazing artist. He has sold his paintings in the past for up to $350. It takes him between 1-2 hrs to make a painting. I'll have to post more another day.

Have a great day everyone and my advice to anyone running from a problem is to address it asap. Its often way worse in our minds. Love all you~

Weigh in

I weighed in today and lost another pound. I'm happy with that cause I feel like I'm starting my period so maybe it really is a bit more.

Tonight we are going in for overtime so it will be even easier to eat well cause Friday nights can be hard.

Insight~

I just finished reading an amazing post from Katie J, you can find it here . It only occurred to me while reading her post that in all the years I've struggled with weight that I never even once thought to look up the definition for food addiction. Amazing.

Reading all about it really sheds light on some things. While I can't remember truly binging for many years now (since I was with my last boyfriend) I do have some of the characteristics listed.
- I have eaten when I was full
- I have eaten when I wasn't even hungry
- And the two biggest things for me is feeling quilt after eating and eating alone.

Eating alone or looking forward to eating alone is something I have struggled with for many, many years. I think it started 10 years ago when I was working crazy hours and in a long distance relationship. After working a long day or on my only day off I would shower, order a crazy amount of delivery and veg out with movies or tv.

This pattern became a real habit for me and I looked forward to it. It was ME time. I could finally relax. This problem escalated a year later when I moved to be with my long distance guy and figured out he wasn't the right guy. Only problem was I was financially trapped for many years and whenever I had a chance I would order in and eat alone.

I've gotten a lot better with this problem because now I am finally happy in my relationship and often get ME time, only now me time might be my walks, baths, crafts, cooking, etc.

The one main thing I have to work on is Sunday's. Sunday's can be a bummer because Cole has to sleep all day to work that night and I'm often bored and I notice I've been consuming way too many calories. I have a plan for this Sunday coming which involves exercise and making purses on my sewing machine.

The other problem - My need to feel guilt over food is one I struggle with often but I have managed to curb it some. Now I try and brush myself off and move on cause giving up isn't an option. One bad day shouldn't lead to move.

Thanks Katie for the inspiration-you are more important to me than you'll ever know.

Weight loss & Vitamins~

Just a quick post to say I lost 1 pd this week and that for the last two weeks I've been taking a multivitamin, vitamin d and omega 3 fish oils everyday. I rock~

Working out~

This week has been a good one for me. I've pretty much been watching my points and getting in some exercise.


Today I walked for 45 minutes and did a few exercises on my exercise ball that I found in my new Woman's Health magazine. Imagine having a body like that-wow-crazy. Do you ever wonder if women with super hot bodies realize it?

Kelly is in the process of getting everything prepared for her trip to Poland. We are going to help with the fundraising and I'm so excited for her-I pray everything works out for her and that she is able to walk again-that would be a miracle.

On another front remember a couple of weeks ago I brought up an issue of not getting things flowing through the system? Not being able to go so to speak. Well I am happy to say it is no longer a problem. I have 1/2 cup of fiber + bran flakes and 1/2 cup of fiber plus (both president's choice) and all systems are a go. It is really amazing how great I feel now.

I have loved summer to the fullest but I must say I'm sorta ready for it to be over. Not that I want winter but I do love fall and especially walking in the fall. Walking in the heat just about kills me.

Blaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

I stayed the same this week. I'm getting really tired of not losing. This week I walked, a lot. A few days I ate more than I should and I don't know what it wrong with me.

Do I just not want it enough? Will I be happy as a fat bride? When faced with these questions I can just feel tears welling up so I know the answer.

I don't want to have a completely bummed out post so I want to let you know that my friend Kelly who has MS just found out that she is getting the surgery on her vein on Sept 28th. Many people who are having this surgery are now able to walk or are at least improving. So EXCITING!!!

Weigh in

I weighed in this morning and I lost 1 pd. Not too bad. Getting ready for work now so gotta jet.

Facing the past.

Today it is 31 degrees-its so freaking hot. I walked on my 15 min break and I was soaked when I got back to work. I wish I could work for a company that provides a gym but what can you do :(

I walked home but at least I had my air conditioner to look forward to. I've made a major accomplishment in my life last week: I finally faced my financial situation.

I made some bad financial decisions when I was 18 (ie student loans) and honestly I've been checked out ever since. In the last 5 years I've really taught myself how to handle my money, but I still didn't face my past. So I went to a financial advisor and it wasn't even as bad as I thought.

I pictured bankruptcy, complete embarrassment, etc but it turns out I found him easy to talk to and I will make payments and I will be able to pay it off way sooner than expected.

I sometimes wonder if a lot of my weight issues have to deal with my financial issues. I've stressed about this for so long that I can remember waking from a deep sleep and just trying to focus on something else. My moral is that your imagination is often way worst than reality so the best thing to do would be to face it and get it over with---it can suck big time but the weight that is off my shoulders is unimaginable.

Plain and simple

I'm very proud of myself this week. I've walked three days in a row so far. Being a person who constantly surrounds herself with all things weight loss ie. blogs, magazines, podcasts, etc I think I tend to get overwhelmed.

I'm constantly thinking I should be doing this or that and when I can't I lose focus and get discouraged. My new way of thinking is this-I'm going to walk, every day. Plain and simple, I'm going to walk every day.

A neighbour who used to live by me lost 100 pds in a year by following ww and going for an hour walk every evening. Maybe after a while I will incorporate more or need to jazz it up but for right now I want to actually plan for something I can and actually will do.

Yesterday I walked on my 15 min break at work, I walked home, takes me 15 mins and then in the afternoon I walked for 1 1/2 hr. It looked like it was going to rain and I was excited because I love the rain but right when I started my walk it got sunny and hot-boo-but I didn't turn back I just kept going :)