I just finished reading an amazing post from Katie J, you can find it here . It only occurred to me while reading her post that in all the years I've struggled with weight that I never even once thought to look up the definition for food addiction. Amazing.
Reading all about it really sheds light on some things. While I can't remember truly binging for many years now (since I was with my last boyfriend) I do have some of the characteristics listed.
- I have eaten when I was full
- I have eaten when I wasn't even hungry
- And the two biggest things for me is feeling quilt after eating and eating alone.
Eating alone or looking forward to eating alone is something I have struggled with for many, many years. I think it started 10 years ago when I was working crazy hours and in a long distance relationship. After working a long day or on my only day off I would shower, order a crazy amount of delivery and veg out with movies or tv.
This pattern became a real habit for me and I looked forward to it. It was ME time. I could finally relax. This problem escalated a year later when I moved to be with my long distance guy and figured out he wasn't the right guy. Only problem was I was financially trapped for many years and whenever I had a chance I would order in and eat alone.
I've gotten a lot better with this problem because now I am finally happy in my relationship and often get ME time, only now me time might be my walks, baths, crafts, cooking, etc.
The one main thing I have to work on is Sunday's. Sunday's can be a bummer because Cole has to sleep all day to work that night and I'm often bored and I notice I've been consuming way too many calories. I have a plan for this Sunday coming which involves exercise and making purses on my sewing machine.
The other problem - My need to feel guilt over food is one I struggle with often but I have managed to curb it some. Now I try and brush myself off and move on cause giving up isn't an option. One bad day shouldn't lead to move.
Thanks Katie for the inspiration-you are more important to me than you'll ever know.