The Weekend~

This weekend was really short. Working overtime has the benefit of extra cash but unfortunately it doesn't leave time for much. I will be happy I did it though when I'm buying stuff at the outlet stores, haha.

This morning I went for my walk as usual and I'm so thankful we are still having such nice weather. The air is just a little crisp but it is so nice-even though I have trackers I'm still not looking forward to the snow-especially ice-I have such a fear of falling.

When I got up from my nap Cole made us some soup and made me a modified grill cheese-he made it on ww multi grain bread and it was really good.

Then we got busy doing some Christmas decorating. Last year I made goodies but I was so tired today that I didn't bother. We are going to my mom's house this Christmas and my brothers family are meeting us there. Our niece Gabby has a peanut allergy so we will have to modify our treats this time anyways and I haven't had time to figure it out.

So we put on some Christmas tunes and had some hot chocolate. (Caution-this was not low fat) haha.

We found it hard to get a nice pic since I was too lazy to do my hair-haha-luckily he loves me.

We always put on red and gold ornaments, ribbon, star, cranberries and some old ornaments from our childhoods. We get a new ornament for us every year.

Its hard to tell but we have ribbon and lights on tops of the cupboards-looks so pretty lite up that I'll do my dishes with the lights off and these on, really relaxing.
These kind of weekends are my favorite just me and Cole hanging out.

Support

I just had to write a small post to say that I'm going in for overtime tonight and I got up and went out to look and my fiance is in the kitchen making me supper, doing dishes, he has my lunch packed and he has the laundry on.

It is so amazing to have such a supportive partner.

I couldn't be taking such good care of myself without him~

He's not to bad to look at either-haha

Good Week~

I weighed in today and lost another 1.2pds. I'll take it-haha. I like our meeting so much. Lots of helpful tips. While I was waiting for the meeting to start I looked through my book again to read the points value for various foods and its really important cause sometimes I make assumptions.

I seem to be surrounding myself with weight loss from the various blogs I read, my meeting, ww online, pod casts and its really helping. Building this little community around me is keeping me motivated. I told Cole that blogging might be the ticket that keeps me going this time.

Ann will always put a quote up on the board and this weeks was "You should fit your weight loss program into your life-not fit your life into your weight loss program" That is so true.

When I was in LA Weight Loss-I truly felt deprived and like I couldn't go anywhere or eat anything besides the things I had figured out already. They weighted me 3 times a week and we had to go over my journal-it was tedious.

I like Weight Watchers because I can eat anything as long as I track the points for it. This helps me make good decisions but I can still eat what I crave.

Sorry-don't want to sound like a commercial-haha. I'm going into work tonight for some overtime. Boo. I so love my downtime but tonight won't be so bad cause I can wear my jeans and I love my job~

Hope everyone had a good week. Hope to post tomorrow~

Hauling butt-my butt~

Wow-I can't get over how long this week has been. I'm going to work on Friday to get some overtime pay for Christmas. I'm gonna see how I do and maybe do it the next couple of weeks so I'll have lots of cash for the outlet stores.

I just got back from my morning walk and I'm really proud of myself. I've been pushing myself to go for longer walks and to walk faster. In all my years of dieting I've never pushed myself in an athletic way.

I know that lots of people don't like The Biggest Loser because its dramatic weight loss and sort of unrealistic to regular people but I have to admit I'm addicted. I love watching the transformations and I usually pic someone who was my weight in the beginning and love seeing what they look like smaller.

Watching the show and reading different blogs has got me motivated for the future. Its really making me plan some goals. I'd love to run a 5k, go hiking, etc. These things couldn't have been further from my mind before but now they are starting to seem attainable.

One definite benefit to exercise is that I've never felt better, I'm actually getting up an hour or more before my alarm and I'm actually rested. I'm looking forward to my weigh in tomorrow-hopefully it'll show all the work I did this week.

Healthy girl~

I saw her again. You remember from my post this is me-now. My mini-me, my doppelganger, the version of me I wish to be in a years time.

She was walking up the hill the same time as me and she had a gym bag, she was actually walking to the gym for a workout. Can you even wrap your mind around walking to the gym and then working out?

I often have to stop myself from the unhealthy thinking of why would a skinny person walk to the gym and then work out? Ummm, don't help me I think I can get the answer on my own.... cause she's smart and doesn't want to end up with a weight problem...

Half the girl I used to be~

I was reading a great blog yesterday low fat kat and something she said really got me thinking. She said that since she has gained her weight that people say she lost her spark.

I can so identify with that. How is it possible that I am double the size but half the person I used to be? Thinking back to my teen years, when I was at a healthy weight, and comparing that girl to the person I am now is incredible. Not only is there the very obvious physical difference with the weight gain but my personality is so different.

People grow up, people change but how does a person who was once the life of the party become the person least likely to attend a party? When I think of all the things I allowed myself to miss out on because of my weight I get so angry at myself.

Even now with Christmas coming up and various Christmas parties on the horizon my first instinct is to decline. Cole's work group is having a party and while last year I declined-this year I am forcing myself to attend. Its not fair to him and its also not fair to me.

I have tons of people from high school on my facebook and I'm wondering if they are going to have a 15 year reunion next year (yes I am that old) It's my hope that by then I will have most of my weight off and start having some resemblance of the girl I used to be, not only on the outside but on the inside as well.

Good for her!

I just got back from my morning walk, it is so cold here right now. I love walking in the cold, as a fat chick I love having the excuse to wear lots of layers.

Cole can't understand how much I hate to work out in front of people or for the matter how much I hate for people to even see me sweat. I don't think its strange at all. A few years ago we joined a gym and I worked out 4 times a week for 9 months with practically the same people every day and still hated it.

I can't imagine what it must be like to have body confidence, to not feel the need to use a throw pillow to cover up your stomach, to not have to pull down on shorts that climb up your thighs, to not make sure that your thighs don't make a sound while walking, to not step lightly out of fear of walking loudly, to not feel paranoid when on a Ferris wheel that they are working extra hard to balance your weight.

Cole says people will look at me exercising and think "good for her" but I really don't know, maybe they do, the real question probably should be "why do I give a rat's ass?"

No matter what I'm not giving up my walks, they are so good for my well being, I'm dreading snow and ice but I got a pair of trackers on the weekend so hopefully they will work. I'm sure my confidence will build in the next weeks, months, year as I continue on the journey~