Stress and weightgain~

Typically I'm not a person who has much stress in her life. I have a wonderful fiance who loves me dearly, I love my job, etc. Lately a few things have caused stress to me and I wonder how it all relates to weight loss.

First was the fight with the in-laws-getting boring to write about since there is still no new updates-we aren't speaking and its been over a month, and then there was yesterday.

You see 17 years ago my mother got remarried and moved to the states. I was 16. I moved in with my aunt and then later to college, etc. For the first few years I was resentful a bit and didn't speak to Mom a lot. There were a few issues but I was young and then I grew up.

So there might have been an incident or two with my stepfather getting up in my face but nothing too serious. I've only been able to see mom about once a year anyways since they live in the states.

So the summer before last Cole & I go to visit them and while we were all together in the car my sf freaks at Cole-over directions. Cole doesn't even fire back cause he loves me and didn't want to make it worst-I get into a heated argument with my sf and so does my mom. It was pretty tense but I think he apologized and we moved on.

We didn't get to visit much since then but at Christmas we go to their place and my sf makes a stab at Cole again-this time about Cole parking wrong in the driveway (yes he is a complete wacko I guess) he did it in front of Mom, my brother & his wife. Cole had parked a foot down from the rest of the cars. So my mother goes nuts on him outside and he later apologizes.

So then yesterday Mom & I are on the phone laughing so hard. We have a great relationship and Cole & I can make her laugh like nobody else. We let her know that we are going to Bangor next weekend with Kelly & Rodney and that it would be fun if they met us there for lunch and shopping-its a 3 hr drive from our place and 3 hrs from their place. She was getting all excited.

I also mentioned that when we went down in November for the week that maybe K&R would come down with us for the weekend if they didn't mind.

My sf was saying all this stuff in the back round like Bangor being too far away, to much traffic, etc and that they didn't want strangers staying in their house, etc. I forgot to point out that he is completely lazy and the idea of getting out of his own way disturbs him. I said never mind we will stay in a hotel and Mom got mad at him saying that if her own daughter can't feel comfortable in her house then she would move out.

I can't begin to tell you the feeling I get in my stomach during a confrontation. I feel like I haven't slept in a week and have drank 15 coffee. My stomach gets so jittery and I detest the feeling.

I was talking to Mom today and I guess said that I have always hated him and that I call and expect them to drop everything for me. Cause asking mom if she can meet me for lunch once in the whole time she has lived in the states is asking her to drop everything for me. He just wants it to be him and her everyday-her watching him smoke all day and not work. Mom is planning on making some life changes, we spoke today and I hope it all goes as planned-will talk more about that in the future.

I just feel rotten. I told mom today that even if he apologized that I won't accept it cause I know its not genuine. He hates me and I just don't feel like having him in my life. I said if she is still there in Nov that we would come up and stay in a hotel. I hate to put her in this boat but I can't keep pushing my feelings under the rug. I think she stayed this long because he wasn't like this when they first got together but I don't think he will change back.

Anyways I went for my walk this morning and am playing on the Wii in a bit. I'm gonna try to block out this stress as much as possible because I already have a big enough problem trying to lose weight I don't need anymore things stacked up against me.