Holiday Recap~

Wow-I cannot believe it has been an entire week since I posted. I missed blogging and reading blogs so much while I was travelling. I honestly feel like I didn't have time for much over the holidays.

We had all kinds of worries on the beginning of our trip about the weather but thankfully it cooperated and we made it to New Hampshire safely. We arrived and had last minute gifts we had to get.

We finally made it to Mom's house with a full vehicle to unload and I couldn't wait to see my niece and nephew-they warmed to us immediately and Mary, Gabby and I built a snowman.

Me and Cole had tons of gifts to wrap since you can't wrap the one's you are taking thru the border so we would go to the room to wrap a bit and then spend time with the family, etc. We were so tired from working overnight and the big trip that Cole slept from 9 on and I fell asleep at around midnight.

Christmas day is a blur of opening presents, cooking, etc. So much fun. I'm pretty proud of myself for not over-eating too bad over the holidays. I didn't get in my proper fruits, veggies, etc but I didn't ever feel completely stuffed either so I guess I can't complain.

The rest of the holidays went by way too quick. I cried so hard when my brothers family left. It is so hard to be away. My niece is amazing and my nephew is the happiest baby ever.

My meeting is closed again for the holiday so hopefully by next week I'll do pretty good. Cole is at the grocery store right now getting us some fruits & veggies.

Can't wait to read some blogs tomorrow to see how everyone is. Missed my blog family.

Happy Holidays~

This has been a super busy week. Those of you who read my blog know that I love downtime and hate being busy. It doesn't become me, haha.

Had overtime on the weekend and then basically had to catch up on sleep after that. Did some running around for some Christmas gifts that I hadn't purchased online, did some more baking (nut free) to bring to Mom's.

This week hasn't been bad food wise for me. I've been pretty much staying on plan (so far) as I know I'll be eating more once I get to the states. I haven't gotten in my exercise but I'm hoping with the extra running around it'll balance out? Anyone? haha.

We still have more things to pick up and we're getting tired. This year I did like about 50% of my shopping online and next year I'm shooting for 80-90%. It is so easy and hassle free. So much more options and I found it cheaper. It also helps that we always have the money up front so we don't get billed later-pay the credit card off immediately and nobody gets hurt-haha.

I called Mom's last night and she was cuddling on the couch with my niece Gabby watching a movie-I was so jealous-I so can't wait to get there.

I've been trying to read some blogs and will keep trying during the holidays-keep going people and don't get too angry with yourself if you slip, pick yourself up and dust yourself off.

A Weigh in and Brownie Recipe

I lost another pound-woo hoo. I couldn't believe it. I was just praying to at least stay the same since I began the week on a bad note and I exceeded my expectations.

Today was probably my last weigh in at my Weight Watcher meeting since I'm going to the day shift in the new year. I was really sad cause I love my leader Ann so much and the group is pretty good. I hope I can find an evening meeting that I love too.

I brought in some recipes for my group and I even made one and brought it in.

Triple Chocolate Brownie Thins :

Serves 12 1 Wedge = 2pts Bake 15 Minutes

1oz unsweetened Chocolate, chopped

2tbsp butter

3tbsp unsweetened dutch-process cocoa

1/2 cup sugar

1 large egg

1/2 tsp vanilla

1/3 cup all purpose flour

1/8 tsp baking powder

1/8 tsp salt

1/4 cup + 2tbsp semisweet chocolate chips

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Line a 9-in round baking pan with foil allowing excess foil to extend over the rim of pan by 2 inches. Lightly spray with non-stick spray. Combine the unsweetened chocolate and butter in medium microwavable bowl. Microwave on high 1 min, then whisk in the cocoa until blended. Whisk in the sugar, egg, and vanilla. Add the flour, baking powder and salt; stir just until blended. Stir in 1/4 cup of the choc chips. Scrape batter into prepared pan, spreading to cover bottom of pan. Sprinkle with remaining chips. Bake until brownies are firm along the edges and a toothpick inserted into centre comes out with moist crumbs clinging, 12-14 minutes. Let cool completely in pan on a wire rack. Remove the brownies from pan using foil as handles. Cut into 12 wedges.

They are so good-nobody could get over at my meeting how great they were and Cole loved them too.

I had to add this pic of Pepper-she is too cute :)

Stressing out~

This week has been a stressful one. I don't know what is up but I'm really feeling anxious all the time. Usually the feeling of butterflies in your stomach can be fun but not when its in a bad way.

I'm feeling stress for many reasons:

1) My job usually gives us an extra day off with pay during the holidays and they don't know if they are doing it this year.

2) We don't get off work until 6:30am on Christmas Eve and are driving to New Hampshire (5 1/2- 6 1/2 hrs) and they don't think we can go into work a couple of hours earlier to help us out.

3) This is Cole's first Christmas away from home and I'm getting a bit of quilt from the in-laws

4) I want this to be an amazing Christmas for Cole

5) My niece is allergic to nuts and I'm stressed about what I can make, eat, etc.

Whew that felt good to unload, haha. I've managed to eat good the rest of the week and got on the treadmill a few times. I think it helped me get out some aggressions.

One really bright spot to my week has been the Christmas Card Exchange I am in on the Weight Watcher forums. I so love going to the mailbox everynight before work and getting nice cards. Usually with something inside like recipes or inspirational quotes.

In the cards I sent I cut out inspirational quotes from my Woman's World Magazines with Scrapbook Scissors. Nice quotes that can apply to weight loss.

In the magazine for this week they had two nail applications that I really want to try in the next week. One was CandyCane effect:

The other was like a french manicure but in red. So pretty.

Another bright spot is that Cole took a picture of me that I really like-haha-vain or what? Being with a camera addict can have its perks afterall :)

Good Intentions-Nearest Window.

Friday night I was hoping to do the usual overtime but it wasn't offered. This proved crappy for me. You see, Cole had already committed his self to watching his brother and had to sleep out there overnight.

I was already under the weather from womanly issues and then I was left to my own devices. Being alone for me can be a problem.

I didn't eat bad Friday night. I had a nice bath, got more things prepped for Adam's party, and really enjoyed my time alone. Too much. I couldn't sleep. I finally got to sleep around 4:30 and and woke up @ 7am-blurgggg.

I was feeling anxious cause I had so many loose ends to attend to for the party so I got up and started running errands. I got everything I needed, got some Subway and headed home.

I ate my Subway, finished my baking, tidied up a bit, and got the biggest headache I've had in years. I think I had waited too long to eat and with so little sleep it was a deadly combo.

Luckily for me Cole was on his way home and I could grab a nap. I slept longer than I meant too but I so needed it. So long, in fact, that I skipped supper. So at the party I had a few sandwich triangles and way more sweets than I should have. Only a little veggies.

Now I am finding it hard to get re-motivated for the week as I am having major cramps and I am craving sugar. I just finished a peanut butter ball.

I have to use this as a major lesson. I am not a person who can go without sleep or miss meals. This always leads to headaches and I know this. I have to force myself to take the time out for me. I don't want to end up feeling crappy during my only time this year with my family.

Tomorrow I'm going to kill it on the treadmill and today I'm weaning myself off of sugar. It really is amazing how fast you can get hooked again.

Big Fat Lies & Irritations

I got weighed in Today-technically yesterday by the time but who's keeping track? I stayed the same. I can honestly say that. Still 220.6 on the nose.

Its so strange but in the past I have lied about how I did. Not on my blog but to Cole, family and friends. I would weigh in and lose .6 and I'd say I lost 1 pd. I'd gain .6 and I'd say I stayed the same. Either they are all bad with math or they are on to my game.

I can't really explain why I did this but I'm trying to change it. Even now my first instinct is to bump up the number but I nip it in the bud.

I've lied to myself plenty in the past before too. The diet starts Monday, just one cookie, etc and its gotten me nowhere quick.

I'm a person that hardly ever gets irritated but the smallest thing has irritated me for a bit and it was finally resolved today. I'm a bit embarrassed that I even cared but I did. See if it would bother you too - Here's the story :

I have been with Weight Watchers on and off for about a year and I re-membered yet again in August. So they still went by my starting weight. Somewhere along the way someone made a mistake with the starting number 245.6 and put down 245. So every time I would weigh in I would be short this .6 of a pd.

At first, like any normal human being, it didn't bother me. Then I hit my 15pd goal and they registered it as 14.4. And then I hit 20 pds and they registered it as 19.4 and I said something, and they adjusted it wrong to show 19.8-uhhh.

I bit my tongue until I hit 25pds and she registered it at 24.8-I said 245.6-220.6 is 25pds and she said oh well you can still get the award at the meeting I won't tell anyone-like I was getting away with something-but I wasn't I did this. I earned this. I bit my tongue-accepted my award and went home.

Before my meeting yesterday I brought it up, I am relentless, and one of the workers got out a calculator and went over each of my ups and downs to figure out the mistake. I don't care when the mistake was made, who made it, I just want ppl to acknowledge that 245.6-220.6=25pds.

She finally said okay I will go by your weight and we'll figure out the problem later. Don't get me wrong I love all the workers and they were more than nice and I am never rude about it but hello people-whats a girl got to do to get some scale love?

Am I completely alone? Would anyone else even have bothered with something so trivial? Do I get the crickets?

Soooooo Cold~

The weather here is so sick. I always love the idea of winter but when it shows up I'm always reminded that I don't really like it.

One thing I am loving is my Christmas Card Exchange, so much fun. Yesterday I received a nice card with stickers, a letter about the giver with a before/after pic and a little card:

So cute, so creative. I'll have to keep all these things on hand over the holidays for a little motivation when mine slips.

I started watching The Biggest Loser last night but had to go to work. I haven't read any blogs about it yet but I couldn't believe that Rebecca's dyed her hair-I did not like it. Watching that show really shows how sometimes people can go too far with it. Some of the women especially looked under weight and that is just as unflattering in my opinion.

I bought Jen's E-Cookbook from Priorfatgirl and its awesome. I printed it but don't have a colored printer :( oh well-it is so nicely done. Can't wait to make something.

Well I am off to yet again prepare more for Adam's party on Saturday. Cole has been pigging out all week on my treats-I'm getting scared I won't have enough-haha.

Treadmills and nagging~

I was reading a great blog last night What a slurge and she discussed not letting her co-workers know she was dieting.

I have such strong opinions on this topic I decided to discuss it right here. Since I have been dieting for over half my life I have tried every approach known to woman.

The secret diet, telling everyone, telling a few, etc. I haven't really struck a good balance when it comes to this. I seem to always tell a person I always wish I hadn't.

In the present tense it is a co-worker. I had a momentary lapse in judgement a while ago when she told me she struggled with dieting and told her I joined Weight Watchers.

I didn't tell her this for any particular reason I think I felt she needed to know that someone else was in the same boat. Ever since it feels like she is really struggling with dieting and she is constantly telling me about going to the gym, what she eats, etc.

I don't want to seem uncaring or cold hearted, and I certainly don't want anyone to think I judge them for what they eat-I am the last one who could judge believe me, but I also don't want my eating habits brought up on a daily basis. She mentions these things around others and it just makes me uncomfortable.

Not to mention I've lost 25 pds and she says so how much have you lost so far and I'll tell her and she doesn't say yeah I can tell or you look good or anything. If only I could turn back the clock.

In other news-I've given up walking outside. I have trackers but my legs are still too afraid to fall and it took me forever to do my walk yesterday. It really sucks because from mine and Cole's walk on Sunday morning in the snow my legs are still sore so it really makes for a good workout.

I decided to use the treadmill provided in my apartment building. I so depise a treadmill but at least it has a tv in there.

The room is surrounded in mirrors so I can stare at my ass while working out-haha-should help with portion control.

I'm doing a Christmas Gift Card Exchange on the Weight Watcher Website and I've gotten three so far. One had 4 awesome recipes with the points and everything already tallied and in another card I got a string with 1 inch braided and a little saying.

It says : "What does an inch mean? Here are a few lengths of thread-Just one braided inch. It may look quite small but when you find yourself in a pinch consider the inches you've lost (But how gaining them is a cinch!) When the going gets tough look on this thread and know you will get there-inch by inch.

This is so cute and clever-I have mine on my wrist right now and may replace it with a black one-goes with more-haha. I thought it was so neat.

I so love getting mail :)

The Weekend~

This weekend went by in a blur. Working overtime doesn't seem too bad while I'm doing it but it sure doesn't leave for much downtime or rest.

While I was at work on Friday night Cole got a lot of our housework done and decided to try his hand at baking and choose to do Ginger Molasses Cookies. They are really good.

I had plans with my friend Kim for breakfast and a little shopping so I decided to forgo my usual nap after work.

We got a few things done and with my online shopping I think I way ahead of the game. I did some Christmas baking myself since we are having Adam's party next weekend. Still have more to do but here's what I made so far.

Thumbprints, Peanut Butter & Jar Crumble Cookies, and Chocolate Chip Cookies. I'm proud to say that the baked Chocolate Chip Cookies went into the freezer so fast I didn't even get a pic-they are a weakness-not to say I didn't try a couple-lol~

That night Cole and I got an appetizer tray from M&M Meats and enjoyed some Christmas movies with our munchies and had on all the Christmas Decorations. I wish I could do this every single weekend-its the best.

On Sunday morning we headed out for our walk and man it was freezing-lots of snow had fallen during the night.

Here I am in three layers of clothing and my snow trackers on~

This was at 5:30 in the morning and people usually drive by us like were nuts.

Judging from this pic we probably are-this is the point where I'm thinking why did we bring the camera? So cold.
Had to move around to get warm~

Cole managed to warm my heart by making me a heart in the snow :)

During the walk I got so hungry and thirsty.

Cole did too~
This is right before we went to get coffee-so hot-so nice.

Progress pics.

Well I thought I would do some progress pics to help keep me motivated with my weight loss journey. I am pleased with the results so far. The left is me @ 245.6 and the right is me @220.6!

I can't believe I did my before pics in pajamas-sounds like me-haha. So this is what losing 25 pds looks like. Cole said I seem to have better posture so that is awesome~

I so loathe my double chin I cannot even begin to tell you how much-I hope to lose some by my next progress pics :)

25pd award and 10%

Can you say excited? Today I went to my meeting and I lost 2.6pds. I got my 25lbs award and my 10%. You won't be able to wipe this smile off for a week-haha. It feels so good and so deserved, hell I sweat for this loss-no pain-no gain.

My fellow meeting members are so supportive and its going to be hard to change meetings in January, hopefully I'll figure a way to pop in from time to time.

Its so funny but since today I got my 25pd award and 10% all at the same time I was sort of worried that now everyone knows how much I weigh. Isn't that always the way you get something awesome and immediately try to ruin it for yourself.

I don't even care. This is me-I'm owning this, every step of the way. Its crazy that this has seemed like the hardest week for me but having some great bloggers post words of encouragement to me really proved helpful.

When I stepped on the scale and lost 2.6 I immediately felt like the weight came off, my pants felt lighter. Any of you experience that? So funny but so awesome.

I'm going in for overtime tonight so Cole is the house husband for today-packing lunches, making supper and doing the chores so tomorrow we can both enjoy some much needed downtime. We plan on watching some Christmas movies with the tree and lights on. So nice.

Have a great weekend-blogs are scarce on the weekend but I'll be looking forward to reading some :)

Seasonal Issues.

This coming weekend I'm doing overtime on Friday night. Then on Saturday I plan to make a few recipes from my new Weight Watcher recipe books. A few new recipes for the winter are just what I need.

This time of year has proven to be a challenge for me already. December came is with 0 degree temperatures and I've already found myself more reluctant for my walks. Yesterday I bundled a big scarf around my face and it helped. (I don't really care what I look like on these walks, haha)

I need to figure out some home workouts that burn enough calories so that I don't feel guilty forgoing my walk. I so hate the treadmill so that might keep me motivated to keep them outside.

Its so amazing that in a few short months how much blogging has impacted my life. I can't believe the amazing bloggers out there and how much they actually care about me. Thanks so much everyone who reads, and comments to my blog.

Next weekend we are attending three holiday parties. The first one is Cole's entire family meeting for their annual Christmas Party. The second is one we are hosting for his brother Adam's 30th birthday party and the third is my friends Christmas Party. I'm going to do some baking for them and for the one we are hosting there is going to be veggies and healthy options :)

This time of year can be so frighting but I am making a promise to myself to not forgo my exercise, no matter what else happens. Do any of my fellow bloggers have any strategies they are planning?

Pessimistic~

Yesterday I was feeling so blue I contemplated giving it all up. The dieting, the blogging, everything. When I am sick I can get pretty pessimistic. Of course I'm pretty much the opposite when healthy but what can you do.

I think it all started when I weighed in on Friday. Though I never really spoke my true goal out loud before I kinda had it in my mind that if I lost 1.6pds per week I could make it to my goal in a year. My brain knows this might not happen and that I shouldn't give up if it doesn't but try telling that to my heart.

I have spoken before about my having a defeatist attitude if things don't go perfectly as planned and how I'm trying to shake that. I liken myself to an clock and every so often the power goes out and you need to reset your clock.

Then I started feeling under the weather and thought "Why am I working so hard for something that won't happen?" I don't know why I get like this and sometimes I wonder if I'll ever truly be cured from this negativeness every so often.

The only real thing I know is that I just got back from my morning walk and I'm not giving up. Not yet, and hopefully not ever.

The last thing I want to do is start over with even more weight on in a couple of months, and from my track record that is exactly what would happen. Even if I don't lose 1.6 per week and if in a years time I'm only down 5, 10 , 15 pds at least it will be down.