Thursday, January 14, 2010

Color me pathetic...

I just finished doing something rather pointless and embarrassing. I facebook stalked a complete stranger. The reason? She has the body I want.

The body I long to have for myself isn't like Kate Moss its more like Kate Winslet. I long to have a beautiful body that is extremely feminine. I would love nothing more than to look and feel good in beautiful skirts, dresses, heels, etc.

The girl I stalked is pretty and has a nice body. I spent a half hour clicking my way through pics of her skiing, dining at restaurants, on vacation, etc just to see the outfits and to day dream.

I've spent plenty of time flipping through magazines or catalogs to day dream to and dare I even say that I've actually read health magazines while binging. What would a shrink say about that I wonder?

Last evening was my first time back to Weight Watchers in almost a month and today I was awesome. I ate within my points and have my supper all figured out. Yah me~

I have to find out what the meeting is like on Thursdays cause the more I think about this one the more anxiety I feel. I miss my Friday meeting where the members were honest about finding it hard to not eat too much or exercise. I don't like meetings where everyone pretends they can hardly eat.

I decided now I would post a pic from my high school years when I though I was so fat. Man if only I could go back and slap myself.
Thats me in the front with my super fly shirt and my worry doll necklace on. A real pig hey? haha. Those two girls on either side of me are still two of my closest friends Lori & Fern.


  1. You're so cute :)

    And I know you can do this. Find a meeting that you feel comfortable at otherwise it will start to feel like a chore to go and you won't.

    You are doing this. Keep at it.

  2. I would and probably have done the exact same facebook stalking thing. It's hard to get an idea of a "real" body you want to look like in the magazines. Sometimes I see a girl out in public and think the same thing "oh! I want her butt!" I hope no one notices what I'm staring at or they might get the wrong idea!

  3. If that's pathetic, then I'm in good company. I have a folder on my computer called "motivation" and it's full of right-click-saved pictures from teh interwebs of women I'd KILL to look like. Healthy? Absolutely not. Sometimes it makes me even more depressed. But also sometimes, referring back to those pictures makes me angry and driven and motivated to get my butt moving. Congrats on having a great day! You're a rockstar!

  4. That's good motivation! I look at pics from high school where I weighed 160 and know that's what I want to look like. Like you, I can't believe I used to think I was fat. We never appreciate what we have, do we?

  5. I'm with Kat - good company with both of you. I visually stalk women in the same room whose sense of style I want ... all the time. Not so much their bodies but how they dress, accessorize and carry themselves. I always think if they knew what I was thinking they'd be flattered. They're not always so thin either.