I just got back from my morning walk, it is so cold here right now. I love walking in the cold, as a fat chick I love having the excuse to wear lots of layers.
Cole can't understand how much I hate to work out in front of people or for the matter how much I hate for people to even see me sweat. I don't think its strange at all. A few years ago we joined a gym and I worked out 4 times a week for 9 months with practically the same people every day and still hated it.
I can't imagine what it must be like to have body confidence, to not feel the need to use a throw pillow to cover up your stomach, to not have to pull down on shorts that climb up your thighs, to not make sure that your thighs don't make a sound while walking, to not step lightly out of fear of walking loudly, to not feel paranoid when on a Ferris wheel that they are working extra hard to balance your weight.
Cole says people will look at me exercising and think "good for her" but I really don't know, maybe they do, the real question probably should be "why do I give a rat's ass?"
No matter what I'm not giving up my walks, they are so good for my well being, I'm dreading snow and ice but I got a pair of trackers on the weekend so hopefully they will work. I'm sure my confidence will build in the next weeks, months, year as I continue on the journey~
I definitely identify with the layers and the sweating...I want to be hidden away where people can't see me when I work out. I often wonder what people are thinking of me when I'm at the gym, though everyone says "nobody's even paying attention to you" - if I'm analyzing them, aren't they analyzing me?? And I can't wait to have body confidence and not worry 24/7 about those things I spent so much time fretting over.
ReplyDeleteCongratulations on keeping up with walking...that's such a huge deal that you're making them a priority and building such a great habit!
Good for you! :)
ReplyDeleteKeep on moving, C. I will keep reading your blog and wish you all the best.
ReplyDeleteThanks so much, I really appreciate all the nice comments, It feels nice that I have some people going through the same things as me~
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